I felt compelled to reach out to you, perhaps because too few people do. We may be strangers by name but we are bound by La ilaha illallah carried in our chests. That bond is not small. I see you. I see your struggle. Lend me your ear. And if, after that, you choose to continue walking the path you were already on, know that you are still met with love.
How did you find your way here, sis? Perhaps one of the reasons below resonates (or a combination of them)
- Unlike White Chapel, you didn’t grow up in an environment with a whole lot of visual Muslims around you. You’re tired of the stares, the sneers, the explanations. You’re exhausted of having imposter syndrome at work and have gotten to a point where you just want to blend in.
- “You’re a hypocrite!” Shaytan whispered to you. “You’re so distant from Allah and commit all of these sins that no one knows about. Learn your religion properly first, create a stronger connection with Allah first, and you will return to it later,” he said.
- You have a khala whose words cut deep, “Hijabis are the worst, they get up to all sorts!” she said in Punjabi. Not to mention, your bone-head of a cousin, who isn’t particularly practising and called you a terrorist as a “joke.” You’re sick of the judgement within our own community and the ridiculous jokes.
- You feel like you need to find yourself and understand who you are before you commit to the hijab. Besides, so many sisters you follow on social media have taken it off. They seem so much happier.
- Only a few weeks ago, you saw a man online in India, pulling off a woman’s niqab. You have seen so many hijabis being attacked in the news. And, you know people personally that have a story to tell. You’re just not strong enough for this.
- You are single. The mantra has been told to you umpteen times, ‘men are visual beings.’ And let’s be honest, unlike some sisters, you look so much better without hijab, because Allah blessed you with thick, luscious, long locks. Your hair used to be ‘your thing.’ You would always receive compliments for it. You’re contemplating taking it off because it might optimise your chances of finding a husband.
All of the above is noise.
This isn’t to downplay your struggles. But Shaytan is right about one thing (refer to the aforementioned number 2): you do need to strengthen your relationship with Allah, and protect your heart from harm. We all do, Sis. Me included. Regularly. All of our hearts flip. Even Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w), the greatest man who ever walked this Earth, regularly recited:
“Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'ala deenik”
(O Turner of hearts, make my heart steadfast on Your religion)
And if the heart is sound, the rest of us is sound. Therefore, the matter isn’t about hijab; it’s about something deeper, and you cannot let Shaytan win. For, he loves watching people slowly but surely stray away from their faith.
Observing hijab is an obligation.
But you already knew that.
It is, however, more than a rule. It’s an act of worship, devoted to the One whose love is greater than seventy mothers, and who wants only what is best for us.
Haya and modesty are a part of our faith. They are not just outward actions but qualities of a believer’s character that are beloved to Allah. And, a sister wearing hijab isn’t automatically closer to Allah than a sister who doesn’t; this act alone doesn’t determine piety. What it does mean, though, is that you are striving to fulfil the commandments of Allah. Moreover, what’s even more powerful is that you are carrying an ayah of the Qur’an with you wherever you go.
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and not to reveal their adornment except what is apparent thereof. And let them draw their khimars (head coverings) over their chests…” (Qur’an 24:31)
To see the wisdom of covering one’s head from another perspective, here’s a clip of Radhi Devlukia (Jay Shetty’s wife), a non-Muslim woman, speaking about the benefits of covering your head.
In 1959, psychiatrist and philosopher Frantz Fanon analysed how the French colonial project sought to “liberate” Algerian women by forcing them to remove the veil: a gesture the colonisers saw as a sign of progress. Fannon in his work A Dying Colonialism, p.42 wrote:
“Unveiling this woman is revealing her beauty; it is baring her secret, breaking her resistance, making her available for adventure. …
This woman who sees without being seen frustrates the colonizer.
There is no reciprocity. She does not yield herself, does not give herself, does not offer herself.”
Furthermore, it has been reported countless times, that ’in besieged Gaza, Palestinian women go to sleep in their hijab: faced with the prospect of being forced to run any time of the day, women of Gaza wear the hijab even to bed, seeking dignity and resilience amid Israel’s bombings.
Observing the hijab should not be framed as a mere political or cultural statement, for as Muslims we are judged by our intentions. Nor should it be practised because certain non-Muslims may recognise the beauty in it. That’s not what I am saying here. However, it is profoundly inspiring and intellectually compelling to witness the courage, fortitude, and resilience exhibited by Muslim women across the globe, throughout various time periods in history, in relation to observance of it. Such steadfastness can only emanate from an unshakable faith and a resolute, purpose-driven mindset, an unwavering commitment to “Project Jannah,” where the pursuits of this transient world are consciously subordinated to the enduring promise of the Hereafter.
وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ ۖ وَلَلدَّارُ الْآخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ
“The life of this world is nothing but play and amusement. But the Home of the Hereafter is better for those who are mindful of Allah.”
And, as Lily Tomlin once said:
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
Furthermore, as human beings, we naturally seek comfort in the company of others, but not everyone will take us to where we need to go. This often leads to us adopting traditions simply for the sake of conformity. However, as the Ghurabah (the strangers), we ought to embrace our unique path and take pride in it. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) reminds us that being strangers in this world is a part of our identification.
“Islam began as something strange, and it will return to being strange, so glad tidings to the strangers.”
(Sahih Muslim 145)
What practical steps can we take when Shaytan is attempting to lead us astray? This is a reminder to myself first and foremost.
- We must make use of Tahajjut prayers. Allah azza wa Jal will open doors for us in ways we may never have imagined. And this is where the formation of an intimate friendship with Allah- the King of all Kings occurs. He will guide and help in shaa Allah.
- Our senses can be used to either help safeguard, beautify or pollute our hearts. We must be mindful of this. Consequently, be cognisant of who you are following online because influencers are certainly influencing, even subconsciously, without us realising.
- We must read our daily adhkar for protection and do dirk.
- Elevate yourself in Islamic knowledge.
- Seek the company of righteous and pious sisters. Moreover, people who are more elevated in knowledge and in righteousness than you.
- We must always be mindful that the malevolent shaytan revels in seeing the slaves of Allah being lead astray from their purpose.
May Allah protect you from harm always,
A.
