- Are Muslims becoming reticent in denouncing practices contrary to the rulings of Islam?
- Muslim women “marrying” non-Muslim men is cognitive dissonance at its finest.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Please join me in giving a huge round of applause to the newly weds as they make their grand entrance. Please welcome the beautiful bride Fatima and the dashing groom Sanjay!”
Wait! What? Did you mean Salman? Or perhaps Sajid? “But reverts don’t need to change their names,” I hear you smart Alec say!
However, what if Sanjay is a Hindu who celebrates rakhsha bandan and idol worships in the mandir? What if Fatima were your sister? And herein lies the issue: Muslim women partaking in these sham weddings, ARE our sisters.
There has been a recent emergence of cases involving Muslim girls from the Pakistan-Kenyan demographic who, according to Islamic law, are engaging in unlawful marriages with Hindu men.
I won’t make this conversation tedious by presenting my catalogue of anecdotes. However, a few may suffice to illustrate my observations.
Last Saturday, whilst rushing into Tesco to grab some milk, I bumped into a former A Level student of mine. “Miss, Miss” I heard her yell after me. She was so pleased to see me, as I was to see her. For the sake of anonymity in our discussion, let’s refer to her as ‘Aaliyah.’
Aaliyah was always dear to me and was a pleasure to teach. We often exchanged witty banter as I entered the classroom, making those dreaded Monday mornings more bearable for us both.
Shortly after we embraced and exchanged pleasantries, she whipped out her phone and began showing me pictures of her recent engagement party. I was so excited for her. However, that smile was wiped off my face instantly when she nonchalantly said, “Deepak and I are planning on moving to Kingston after we get married”.
There and then, I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces all over the floor of Aisle number 24- Cheese and Dairy. I immediately began giving her dawah; she listened attentively and respectfully and nodded when I explained that this wouldn’t be a marriage in the sight of Allah but would, in fact, constitute as zina.
Aaliyah responded, “I completely understand and hear what you’re saying but I haven’t been able to find any decent Muslim guys- it’s been really hard”. She told me how her older sister had also married a Hindu and how her parents were now accepting of their choices because ‘it’s so difficult to get married nowadays’.
Aaliyah, who is of a Pakistani-Kenyan background, is highly intelligent and a conventionally attractive girl. What happened here? What went so very wrong? The foundation of her upbringing and tarbiyah undoubtedly played a significant role. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt. I remember engaging in deep, philosophical conversations with her at school regarding Man, Life and the Universe and giving her dawah whenever I could. But perhaps I could’ve done more? After all, I would see her at least 3 times a week.
My mum attends a weekly dars in our locality. She recently shared with me the emerging cases of Muslim Pakistani-Kenyans girls marrying Hindus in the area. During one particular Dars session, a few of the aunties were discussing receiving wedding invites from their family members, and were asking their Ustadah whether it is permissible for them to attend such functions. Their Ustadah swiftly responded in Urdu, “It’s permissible if you want to attend a party which celebrates fornication”.
One of the aunties elaborated on the situation, explaining how the mother sending the invitation sought to justify the union by citing, “There’s nothing wrong with it, after all, Shah Rukh Khan did the same.”
Alright! Gather round folks! Let’s get one thing straight: We don’t take our religious teachings from Shah Rukh Khan!
However, what is perhaps more alarming is not these superficial marriage contracts, but the fact that there are Muslim families who are accepting of such unions. Let’s think about this for a second… Uncle Nasir is already busting some dangerous bhangra moves on the dance floor alongside his sister-in-law (as if these shindigs aren’t bad enough – may Allah guide us all), but now there are Muslims celebrating fahisha publicly.
Allah says in the Qur’an 2:221:
"Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."
Within the community, there are those who don’t forgo their principles to submit to the secular-liberal world order. However, they are too cowardly to voice their unease due to apprehensions about jeopardising their relationships with the people. This situation is equally deleterious.
It’s important to clarify that when I refer to Kenyan-Pakistanis, I’m specifically referring to Pakistanis who relocated to Kenya for employment opportunities. Many of them had flourishing businesses but were compelled to leave the country after witnessing the atrocities committed by Idi Amin in Uganda. Asian-Africans, primarily residing in Mombasa or Nairobi, eventually settled in the U.K. during the 1960s, as Kenya was under British rule at the time. Hence, a considerable number are first, second, and third-generation Brits.
It’s essential to acknowledge that within the U.K., there are numerous Kenyan-Pakistanis who are devout Muslims, deeply committed to their faith and contributing significantly to our ummah. These are merely my overall observations and do not encompass the entire demographic.
Overall, the incidences of Muslim girls marrying outside their faith is significantly low-Alhumdulillah! Nevertheless, the tradition of interfaith unions within the Kenyan-Asian community spans across generations.
I once had a conversation with an uncle from this demographic, who nostalgically recounted, “During our days in Nairobi, it didn’t matter if you were Indian or Pakistani. We all celebrated Diwali together, and Hindus and Sikhs joined us in celebrating Eid.” …sounds rather cosy, doesn’t it?
Being tied to one another as believers of Islam surpasses mere cultural ties; our sacred bond ought to always take precedence. This imperative must reverberate resoundingly across all generations.
We are the ummah of the greatest man who ever lived-Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), united, irrespective of geographical origins, location or creed. Therefore, if any segment of our ummah is suffering or veers from the sirat al mistaqeem, it becomes a concern for us all. Furthermore, above all labels we could attribute to Aaliyah- ‘my former student’, Pakistani, African or British, the only one that truly matters, is that she is our dear sister in Islam.
To my dear Muslim sisters:
As Muslim women, we hold the right to choose the leader of our household. When selecting a partner to guide our family, it’s essential to remember that the man assumes the role of head of the household. Consequently, when you choose a man to raise your children with who is non-Muslim, you are potentially sabotaging your aakirah as well as there’s. How will you commit this injustice towards your future children when you, yourself were given the gift of Islam?
By marrying outside our faith, you will be making the impermissible, permissible.
Marriage is a sacred union and contract in Islam which transcends this world. True love encompasses a desire for our loved ones to join us in attaining Jannah, the ultimate paradise promised to believers. What semblance of love is this, if, as a believer of Jannah, our affections barely scratch the surface?
Furthermore, Islam provides us with meticulous guidelines for personal hygiene and cleanliness. How can you entrust your life to a man who does not uphold our rigorous standards of purity; how much Oud Ispahan he may drench himself in is irrelevant. Moreover, a man who doesn’t have Allah in his heart, doesn’t have anything to offer you.
What do you have in common with such men? Perhaps you like watching the same shows on Netflix, or he pulls an umbrella over your head when it’s raining and makes you laugh. Will this connection suffice? Is this the soul purpose of marriage and what Allah asked of you?
If Palestine has taught us anything, it’s this:
Dying as someone who has altered the religion to suit your desires is a greater danger than having bombs falling on your head!
We are on this planet for a short while and no matter what is thrown at us, we must try our very best to please Allah.
May Allah guide us all…Ameen
