The Zionist Handbook

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This handbook stands as the quintessential guide for all ardent Zionists, a literary beacon transcending geographical origins, age, and gender alike.

In order to commit a genocide, one must stick robustly to the following principles and never waver from them:

1. Proficiency in Deception is Required

This a prerequisite for membership in our exclusive circle. Hone this skill with finesse, even if it entails enduring numerous incidents of public humiliation, being called out for war crimes and looking like an absolute plonker on international news channels.

We present the following precedent for you as an example:

When losing on the PR battlefield, consider labelling an Arabic calendar as a ‘Guardian list on which every Terrorist wrote his name’. In the face of fact checking, assert: Are we not capable of errors?

2. You now suffer from Amnesia

However, keep in mind solely this: all tumultuous events in the region conveniently transpired after the 7th of October.

3. “The IDF are the most moral army in the world”

Reiterate catch phrases such as “The IDF are the most moral army in the world” and “Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East!”

Meanwhile….

4. Murdering Palestinian Journalists

Target on-the-ground Palestinian Journalists who are providing video evidence/footage of the massacre against Palestinian civilians; subsequently refer to it as ‘collateral damage’.

5. Blame the Muslim world

Douglas Murray serves as an illustration of this guiding principle, as he asserts:

“Muslims do not love other Muslims..they have no love for the Palestinians. If they had any, Jordanians would have taken in the West Bank Palestinians, Egyptians would’ve taken in the territory they used to run- Gaza”

One must diplomatically overlook Palestinian resilience against oppression and steadfast resistance to coercive displacement from their homes.

6. Proclaim accusations of anti-Semitism

Proclaim accusations of anti-Semitism from the rooftops when confronted with charges of war crimes! Disregard the voices of Neturei Karta, Jews for Justice for Palestinians, and JVP etc…

7. Israel has the right to defend itself”

Perfect the rhythmic mantra, “Israel has the right to defend itself” as if it were the only tune in your repertoire. Meanwhile, delicately sidestepping over seven decades of colonization, apartheid, near-genocide, the grand theft of land, and a dark ballet of depopulation. 

8. Blame Hamas for absolutely everything

Turn blaming Hamas into your all-purpose tool – lose your keys? Must be Hamas. Burn the toast? Definitely Hamas. Embrace the art of attributing life’s mishaps to the versatile scapegoat that is Hamas. Here’s a list of what we can also blame Hamas for:

  • Bombing hospitals
  • Bombing churches 
  • Bombing mosques 
  • Killing babies, women and civilians 
  • Food shortages 
  • Power shortages
  • Targeting ambulances 

Find prominent Muslim YouTube channels and insert the following video for adverts-

“Hamas is Isis” 

9. Objectify Women to enlist male IDF soldiers

Objectify women as a means to enlist male IDF soldiers. Learn the latest TikToK dances to show how a genocide is so much fun! 

10. Target and Kill non-combatants and call it “Collateral damage”

The subsequent verses in the Halakha (according to us Zionists), grant us permission to kill women, children, and even donkeys. 1 Samuel 15:3 and Psalm 137:9

“Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy[a] all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’” (1 Samuel 15:3)

11. Play the Victim card and do it well! 

Gouge out your own eyes, imploring the world to recall the harrowing events of Nazi Germany. Induce your critics to a sense of remorse for entertaining the notion of censuring your pro-genocidal stance. 

12. Flatten and Replace Al-Aqsa

Adhere steadfastly to the ‘Temple Movement’ strategy which involves replacing Al Aqsa Mosque with a Jewish Temple. Should the mainstream media catch wind of this endeavour, dismiss it as an unfounded and fanciful conspiracy theory. Even if the Israeli ambassador to the UK Tzipi Hotevely has  stated that it is her dream to see “the Israeli flag fly over the Temple Mount.”


A hadith and Ayah from the Qur’an for us to ponder on:

Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no barrier between it and Allah.

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4090

“And We place the scales of justice for the Day of Resurrection, so no soul will be treated unjustly at all. And if there is [even] the weight of a mustard seed, We will bring it forth. And sufficient are We as accountant”.

Quran 21:47

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