• In today’s society, shyness in women is often viewed negatively, with societal pressure to alter this character trait.
• Embracing your shyness is key to staying true to who you are. Moreover, Allah loves this character trait of yours.
Today, as women we are often led to believe that shyness is a negative character trait. If you don’t want your picture taken at a wedding, you’re seen as peculiar. If you prefer a private life, it’s assumed you lack confidence. Not having any social media accounts filled with selfies—you are not normal. And hesitation in speaking openly to the opposite gender is often viewed as you having something very, very wrong with you. However, once upon a time, shyness in women, particularly in the Muslim community, was not only accepted but also expected.
The extent to which we’ve entered the upside-down world became even more evident recently, when a social media influencer, in an attempt to to fight tabarruj, documented her journey online, appearing without makeup and openly crying about it. This is a clear sign of how much things have shifted—Shaytan has subtly influenced our sister. A more mindful approach for her could have been simply choosing not to post herself online at all.
If you are a Muslimah with no desire for TikTok fame, to order for the entire table at a restaurant, or to hold a microphone and recite poetry at social gatherings, chances are you may not be the one receiving praise in today’s society. However, these tips may help you navigate and stay true to who you are confidently despite society’s expectations of you….
1) Attempting to change this character trait Allah gave you, can prove to be very disturbing for your soul, as it prevents you from being authentically you. The sooner you accept and embrace that you’re a shy girl, the easier life will become.
2) Allah loves this quality of yours even though this modern world we live in doesn’t. In fact, Uthman ibn Affan (may Allah be pleased with him) was known for his extreme modesty and shyness, to the point where even the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) remarked on his character. His shyness was highly regarded, and he was admired for his humility and piety.
The Prophet (s.a.w) said, “Uthman is shy, and Allah is shy and modest. When Uthman enters, the angels themselves feel shy.” (Sahih Bukhari)
3) It’s better for you to be known and spoken about by the angels than by the people.
When Allah loves a servant, He calls Jibril (Gabriel) and says, ‘I love so-and-so, so love him.’ Then Jibril (Gabriel) loves him and calls out to the inhabitants of the heavens, ‘Allah loves so-and-so, so love him.’ And the inhabitants of the heavens love him. Then acceptance is placed for him on the earth.’” (Sahih Bukhari)
4) Embrace being considered a weirdo (I’m only playing), but the essence of what I’m saying remains true. We are told:
“Islam began as something strange and will return to being strange as it began, so glad tidings to the strangers.” (Sahih Muslim 145).
Sadly, the influence of modernity has extended its reach to the Muslim ummah, and as a result, you may be considered strange even within your own community.
5) It may be challenging to be different in society, but you will encounter individuals who truly understand Islam and have a strong connection with Allah. These people—they’re your people—because they will be the ones who truly get you and appreciate this quality in you.
6) You were not placed on this earth to seek the approval of people; you were placed here to seek the pleasure of Allah.
7) The only time you should fight your shyness is when seeking knowledge.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:“Seek knowledge, and do not be shy. For verily, seeking knowledge is a light.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 224)
