- The age of Aisha (RA) has become a contentious issue only in the 21st C. Such debates are a grave disservice to her stature and contribution to Islam.
- This article examines and provides evidence demonstrating that Aisha (RA) did not exhibit the characteristics of an abused victim or a child in need of rescue.
Allow me to introduce to you my extraordinary and beautiful mother: an eloquent orator whose confidence blossomed from the deep love she received from her husband/the greatest of men who walked this planet (saw). A woman of substance and charity, the emancipator of 60 slaves. An individual who was profoundly in love, an exceptionally intellectual scholar, and the narrator of 2,000 hadiths—testimonies all pertaining to her so-called abuser. A woman who corrected men older than herself on matters of Islamic jurisprudence and repeatedly stood up against falsehood.
Aisha bint Abu Bakr (May Allah swt be pleased with her) is revered as the Mother of the Believers. And if you’ve just joined us, it is crucial for you to understand her true legacy. It stands as the antithesis of the grotesque and fallacious narrative of her being a child bride who was abused and victimised.
We previously penned the works, “300,000 US Girls Married as Children, Yet Prophet Mohammed (saw) is Maligned.” In it, we evidenced studies illustrating the anthropological, sociological and psychological differences between children today and the absence of childhood historically.
This article seeks to demonstrate how Islamophobes persistently focus on the age of Aisha, perpetuating a distorted narrative that Muslim women need rescue and Muslim men require taming. This suggests that such portrayals are inherent to our faith. During the course of this discussion, we shall dismantle this narrative in shaa Allah, as well as the pseudo academic statements made regarding the age of Aisha. If on the other hand, you’ve heard much through grapevine about the Prophet of Islam marrying a 6 year old and are genuinely looking for answers, I have no beef with you and I’m happy you’re here.
A woman who experienced such profound love towards Prophet Mohammed (saw) couldn’t have been a victim of abuse
A woman deeply in love radiates tenderness and devotion, colouring her gestures. In her presence, there is a palpable warmth that speaks to the depth of her feelings. Love for her is not a mere emotion but transcends the ephemeral world, a driving force that inspires kindness, even jealousy, a deep-seated desire to nurture and protect the bond she cherishes.
I have discovered this depth of love not in fictitious storybooks but rather in the accounts by Aisha (RA) and the profound intimacy she shared with Prophet Mohammed (saw). It is clearly evident that her testimonies were both reliable and honest. Aisha (RA) would even recount instances where she argued with Prophet Muhammad (saw) and her own faults would be illustrated. These narratives are deeply moving.
Once the Prophet (pbuh) was sitting in a room with Aisha (RA) and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight and was staring at him long enough for him to notice.
He said, "What's the matter?" She replied, "If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali, the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you." The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "What did he say?" She replied, "Abu Bukair said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see." So the Prophet (pbuh) got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, "Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more."
(Narrated in Dala'el Al-Nubuwa for Imam Abu Nu'aim with isnad including Imam Bukhari and Imam Ibn Khuzaina)
Aisha reported: When I saw the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, with a cheerful face, I said, “O Messenger of Allah, supplicate to Allah for me.” The Prophet said, “O Allah, forgive Aisha for her past and future sins, in secret and in public.” Aisha laughed so much that her head fell from his lap. The Prophet said to her, “Does my supplication make you happy?” Aisha said, “Why would your supplication not make me happy?” The Prophet said, “By Allah, it is my supplication for my nation in every prayer.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 3446 Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Al-Albani
Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Indeed, I can tell when you are angry or pleased with me.” I said, “How do you know that, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “Verily, when you are pleased, you say: Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad! But when we you are upset, you say: No, by the Lord of Abraham!” I said, “Yes, I do not leave out anything but your name.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5728
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
Could it have been Stockholm Syndrome?
Let’s humour the armchair warriors for a second. I’ve seen many of them furnish all sorts of justifications for why Aisha RA may have behaved in the manner in which she did. Therefore, let’s delve into this ludicrous possibility:
Frank Ochberg, Lennart Sjöberg’s paper “The Stockholm Syndrome: Not as Simple as It Seems” (2004) and Namnyak et al. (2008), “Stockholm syndrome: Psychiatric Diagnosis or Urban Myth?” all assert that the following key factors contribute towards the development of Stockholm Syndrome:
1. Perceived Threat: The victim perceives a serious threat to their life or physical well-being from the captor.
2. Small Kindnesses: The captor shows occasional kindnesses, creating a confusing mix of fear and gratitude.
3. Isolation: The victim is isolated from other perspectives, enhancing dependency on the captor.
4. Belief in Escaping or Survival: The victim believes that cooperating with the captor is essential for survival.
None of the above apply to Aisha (RA); we will dissect these points as we proceed.
Prophet Mohammed (saw) was given the nickname Al-Amin
Al- Amin means “the Trustworthy” or “the Truthful.” This title reflected his (saw’s) reputation for honesty and reliability, even before his prophethood, and was a testament to his character and integrity in his community. This hardly fits the profile of a predator or a criminal.
He (saw) was far from being a tyrant: He was just, kind, loving, compassionate and an incredibly masculine leader!
The power dynamics between Aisha (RA) and Prophet Mohammed (saw) unequivocally do not resemble those of an abuser and the abused.
Prophet Mohammed saw possessed incredible emotional intelligence. No man on earth understood women or knew how to interact with women better than Him (saw):
Let’s kick start this segment with how he allowed Aisha RA to express herself. She even smashed plates in front of him and his guests due to her jealousy.
Sahih Bukhari (Volume 7, Book 62, Hadith 128): "Narrated Aisha (RA): The Prophet (saw) was given a dish of food from another wife. Aisha (RA) became so jealous that she threw a plate from the Prophet’s hand, breaking it. The Prophet (saw) picked up the broken pieces and said, 'Eat, as it is a sign of love from Allah.' He then added, 'Your mother is angry.'
A woman would never exhibit traits of jealously in relation to a man who had mistreated her or abused her.
In addition, Aisha RA would race the Prophet Mohammed (saw) on foot:
Aisha reported: She was with the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, while on a journey. Aisha said, “I raced him on foot and I outran him, but when I gained some weight, I raced him again and he outran me. The Prophet said: This is for that race.”
Source: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2578
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
We see how she would challenge him. This illustrates the close bond she had with Prophet Mohammed (saw).
Moreover, Aisha RA said from her own account how Rasool (saw) never hit her, not even a servant. She described him to be the most exalted person she had ever known.
Former Catholic Nun and Academic, Karen Armstrong, pens the following regarding the treatment of Mohammed (saw) towards his wives in “Muhammad: A Biography of the Prophet.”:
“Muhammad treated his own wives with respect and affection, and his relationships with them were based on mutual consent and love." (p. 153)
“He encouraged men to treat their wives kindly and to respect their rights, emphasising that the best of men are those who are best to their wives." (p. 154)
Here are a few other statements Armstrong made regarding how Prophet Mohammed (saw) gave women protection and legal rights:
“He insisted that women should not be married against their will and that they had the right to choose their own husbands." (p. 151)
“He insisted that women should have the right to inherit property, which was a revolutionary step at that time."
“Muhammad abolished many of the cruel practices to which women were subjected in pre-Islamic Arabia and gave them legal rights and protection." (p. 147)
“Muhammad also condemned the practice of inheriting women against their will, which was common in pre-Islamic Arabian society." (p. 150)
“Muhammad encouraged women to seek knowledge and participate in the religious and social life of the community." (p. 157)
Evidently, we see how Armstrong (who was a non-Muslim) viewed Mohammed (saw) as a progressive figure in his treatment of women, advocating for their rights, dignity, and active participation in society.
The greatest of Scholars!
A victim is typically a wounded soul in desperate need of help. In stark contrast, after the passing of Prophet Mohammed (saw), Aisha (RA) emerged as the greatest scholar, embodying strength and wisdom. She would have up to 40-70 women surrounding her home attempting to seek knowledge.
Abdullah Ibn Umar said there used to be a tent around the time of hajj and she would answer all of the questions men and women would pose to her from that tent.
Urwa Ibn zubair said, “I’ve never seen a woman more knowledgable in medicine, poetry, history, ancestry”. He said, when Prophet Mohammed (saw) was sick, she elevated herself in being a scholar of medical issues.
Musa ibn Talha said, “I have not seen anyone more eloquent than Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 3884
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
“We never had a problem occur to us, the companions of the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him said, but that we would ask Aisha and find that she knew something about it.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 3883
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
The following are some crucial statements Aisha (RA) made following the passing of Prophet Mohammed (saw). She spoke of these matters with pride and happiness:
- “I never married anyone but the Prophet (saw)
- Angel Jibrael proposed to Prophet Mohammed (saw) on my behalf.”
- “I drank and bathed from the same container as Him.”
- “Revelation would come to Him whilst He was in my home.”
- “He died on my chest. He died on my night, in my room.”
As Muslims, our love for Prophet Muhammed (saw) surpasses even that for our own mothers. Through Aisha (RA), we gain profound insights into the greatest of creation— our beautiful Prophet (saw).
When engaging with Islamophobes and critics, we have no hesitation in addressing Aisha RA’s age. However, reducing her legacy to just her age is an injustice as she was so much more. She was a mature, intelligent, honest, wise and hugely articulate woman who had an important social standing and who’s work is valuable to billions of Muslims around the world even today.
The age of Aisha has never been a topic of discussion in historical discourse. From the Quraysh to early Orientalists and early European writers who critiqued the character of Prophet Mohammed (saw), countless works have been written about him. Yet, none addressed his marriage to Aisha. This omission reflects the cultural norms of the time, and as discussed in our previous article on the topic, a 9-year-old in 7th century Arabia was very different than a 9-year-old today.
Contemporary discourse, however, egregiously distorts this historical context. Consequently, the portrayal of Aisha (RA) as a meek, oppressed, and abused child is not only baseless but also fundamentally deceptive and dishonest.
