- Muslim women online should prioritize modesty and knowledge-sharing for societal benefit. Recognising and appreciating men who exhibit protective jealousy (ghayrah) is essential for women’s spiritual well-being.
- Muslim men should demonstrate protective jealousy in response to the prevailing trend of Muslim women displaying their beauty on digital platforms.
Alright, Tripod, check! Make up slaying, Winged liner sharp as a blade, nails on point, hijab’s looking fabulous! Now, let’s get ready to strike a pose for the TikTok dance craze! Because, why not join the hype? Lights, camera, action!….
Social media’s algorithm repeatedly dishes out such content and it begs the question: Where in the world are the brother, father, or husband of this sister in the spotlight?
I get it, each of us is embarking on our unique spiritual paths. However, shouldn’t the fundamental principles of our gender roles be an inherent part of our identity? Man= leader, protector, provider: Women= nurturer, in obedience to the man of the house. Furthermore, once a sister ventures into the online realm and later seeks wisdom and illumination in the deen, it could prove rather challenging to expunge that cringe-worthy video in which she playfully mimed Bollywood lyrics and influenced a plethora of others to do so, whilst inviting an array of strange men to gawk at her. Understanding our distinct gender roles undeniably distinguishes us from individuals of other faiths, wouldn’t you agree?
In the current digital era, an allure beckons many souls toward the throne of fame. Countless aspire to ascend this staircase, their relentless pursuit fixated on the ephemeral treasures of likes and followers. As a consequence, their very existence metamorphoses into a virtual stage, where each post possesses the power to become a magnum opus, casting them into the spotlight. Many crave the applause of strangers, willingly bartering their privacy for fleeting moments of virtual grandeur.
Indeed, it’s worth a moment of reflection: What’s the true cost of this trade for the Muslimah in this scenario? “Haya!” Unless a sister is donning the veil of modesty online (internally and externally) and is enriching her followers with learned Islamic knowledge or dispensing invaluable wisdom, be it in the realm of medicine, culinary arts, or beyond, one must question the societal benefits for sisters being on social media. Such endeavors, if I may be candid with you, seem to be but a contribution to society’s degradation, a disservice for the well being of the Ummah and a hindrance to the very souls of those involved.
“Haya,” which can be translated as “modesty” or “shyness” in Arabic, carries a significant weight in Islamic teachings. Essentially, haya serves as a moral compass, helping Muslims uphold virtuous behavior, safeguard their dignity, and strive for spiritual and moral excellence in their lives. However, haya is not solely confined to our attire; it extends to our conduct in society. Its objective is to cultivate a culture of respect and harmony within the community.
Haya being referenced in both the Quran and the Sunnah:
“O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness – that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.”
(Surah Al-A’raf, 7:26)
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Modesty is part of faith.”
(Sahih Muslim, Book 1, Hadith 160)
The Dayuth
“Three types of people will never enter Paradise; the dayyūth, the woman who resembles a man, and the one addicted to alcohol.”
[Nasā’ī, Ahmad]
To furnish a justification for behaving in a manner inconsistent with the principles of ghayrah (protective jealousy) some brothers may say, “I trust my [wife, sister, daughter], as she’s a good girl.” However, it’s vital to dissect this statement. It’s not a matter of doubting the trustworthiness of our sisters; rather, it acknowledges the existence of lewd individuals and sexual predators in society and the various dangers women may encounter when inadequately shielded. In essence, such statements prompts us to question whether we prioritize adherence to Islamic principles (shariah) over our whims and societal expectations.
Evidently, we see how an emasculated and effeminate man who has become a prostitute to the wims and desires of society and has surrendered to Feminism, has in turn, forsaken his duty to be a protector, consequently, displeasing Allah for Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.” [Sûrah an-Nisâ’: 34]
The worst strand of dayouth is quite possibly the Muslim man who engages in “couple tags,” openly sharing details about his intimate relationship a long side his wife.
Contrary to what the liberals and feminists allege, having ghayrah does not equate to a man being insecure.
Ghayrah is Love!
In the absence of a man’s demonstrative protective jealousy towards his women folk, can we genuinely classify his emotions as love?
Love transcends sentiment. It is not merely a feeling; rather, it’s an action. Therefore, if a man’s actions fail to exhibit ghayrah he fails to demonstrate and embody authentic love. Love manifests in many forms, and as the head of the house, it is a man’s duty to guide and protect.
Ibn al-Qayyim, rahimahullaah, said, “…….A man should also be jealous in not allowing other men to look at his wife or speak with her in a manner which is not appropriate.”
In his enduring work “Ihya Ulum al-Din”, al Ghazali emphasises the importance of cultivating a strong sense of gheera as a means to protect the sanctity and dignity of society. However, he also warns against allowing gheera to turn into excessive anger or aggression, which can lead to an overly controlling attitude, suspicion or injustice. He imparts advice regarding guarding against actions and behaviors that can erode it. He lists:
- Engaging in Sinful Behaviour: Committing sins or engaging in immoral actions can lead to a gradual erosion of one’s sense of protective jealousy.
2. Neglecting Religious Duties: Neglecting one’s religious obligations, such as daily prayers, fasting, and acts of worship, can weaken one’s connection to faith and moral values, potentially diminishing ghayrah.
3. Exposure to Immodesty: Constant exposure to immodesty, whether through inappropriate media, social interactions, or environments that promote immodesty, can desensitize individuals and weaken their sense of ghayrah.
4. Failure to Uphold Modesty: Failing to observe modesty in one’s own behavior and interactions with others can contribute to a decline in protective jealousy.
5. Company of Unvirtuous Individuals: Associating with individuals who lack moral character and engage in unethical behaviour can negatively influence one’s own sense of ghayrah.
A woman must be proud and grateful if her mahram has ghayrah for her
This statement holds significant relevance in our contemporary age, where we often witness men proudly displaying their wives online or if not consenting to them being online without considering the ramifications.
In this context, a woman should embrace and appreciate the men in her life who take care for her and exemplify a sense of ghayrah. After all, they stand as the guardians of her spiritual well-being and the custodians of her journey towards the hereafter. It is therefore imperative for a woman to staunchly uphold her dignity and remain acutely attuned to her husband’s resolute protective instinct.
This leads us to a fundamental question: why should the common observer be granted the privilege of admiring a woman’s beauty or gaining unrestricted access to it when they haven’t genuinely earned such a privilege?
