Research reveals: Traditional Housewives Experience Greater Happiness than Modern Career Women

• Feminism has diligently strived to ’empower’ women in career pursuits paralleling those of men. However, in a poll, 78% of British women said they wouldn’t mind being financially dependent on their partner. 

• A separate study revealed how women are significantly unhappier than they were in the 1970s.

“But Khadijah RA was a business woman”, sings the growing chorus of ‘Muslim Feminists’.

Within their collective malaise, my sisters use the esteemed mother of the believers as a poster example for why Muslim women should prioritise their careers. The first wife of Prophet Mohammed (saw) was indeed a successful Business woman. However, when dissecting her elevated status, we see how her entrepreneurial triumphs, whilst significant, were merely fragments of her truly inspiring character. Khadijah RA’s essence was far beyond the realm of business. This is ideological subjugation.

When Muslim Feminists lament the fact that being a housewife is honourable, they have perhaps not analysed the role of women in the life of Prophet Mohammed (saw). We see how (may Allah be pleased with them all), the women in the Prophet’s life were nurturing, loving, home makers. Furthermore, Khadijah RA traded her career in to support the cause of Prophet  Mohammed (saw) and Islam. This in turn, illustrates how insignificant lofty career pursuits are for a woman in Islam. Furthermore, focusing on one’s career primarily showcases an Individualistic and Materialistic mind.

According to research, women are happier at home

As women have attained economic, social and political freedoms through the robust feminist movement, it is evident that Feminism has over shot its initial objectives.

The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness | NBER refers to the observation that, despite advances in gender equality and increased opportunities for women, measures of subjective well-being and happiness among women have not shown a corresponding increase but have in fact declined. The well-being of women was assessed over 35 years using data from the General Social Survey (GSS). This survey is a nationally representative sample of about 1,500 respondents each year from 1972‐1993 (except 1979, 1981 and 1992), and continues with around 3,000 respondents every year. It presents one possibility for its findings: that women’s lives have become more complex, and their well-being now reflects their satisfaction with more facets of life compared with previous generations of women, e.g., the reported happiness of women who are primarily homemakers reflect their satisfaction with their home life to a greater extent than women who are both in the labour force and have a family at home. 

Similarly in the longitudinal study conducted by Blanchflower Well-being over time in Britain and the USA – ScienceDirect, the rates of wellbeing among women between 1970 and 1990 in the USA and UK were analysed. 100,000 women were interviewed. Interestingly, the study concluded that “anti-female discrimination policy has not been successful in either country in creating a feeling of rising well-being among women”. Scientists have also been attempting to grapple with Why So Many Women in Middle Age Are on Antidepressants – WSJ In this study, it was found that a staggering 1 in 5 women aged between 40 and 59 over used antidepressants in USA from 2015-2018.

In 2013, fashion website ‘My Celebrity Fashion’, polled 1,582 British women aged over 25 . It was found that the Majority of British women would pick being a housewife over having a career | Daily Mail Online, 62% admitted they ‘secretly’ wished to be a housewife, 74% said they felt pressure from other women to be independent, 78% said they wouldn’t mind being financially dependent on their partner. In the study, Executive Women and the Myth of Having It All (hbr.org), almost a half of successful career women in the U.S do not have children (33% Executives, Doctors, Lawyers) from 41-55 are childless, 62% of high achieving women are married and 57% in corporate America, only 39% of high-achieving men are married to women who are employed full time.

Interestingly, 58% of High school seniors agreed that the best family was one where the main income earner was the man, and the woman took care of the home  FINAL-CCF-Gender-Millennial.pdf (utexas.edu)

Women being intrinsically maternal is evidenced over numerous occasions, as research proves how an An unforeseen story of alpha-woman: breadwinner women are more likely to quit the job in work-family conflicts: Applied Economics: Vol 52, No 55 (tandfonline.com)

 The demise of the housewife in Sweden

For a series on 21^st century parenthood, Swedish journalist Peter Letmark attempted to search for a housewife in his homeland. However, this task proved to be impossible. “Housewives,” he explained, “are a near-extinct species in Sweden. And the few who still do exist don’t really dare to go public with it.” Caucasian Journal: “In Sweden, term “housewife” doesn’t exist anymore”: Niklas LÖFGREN and Tiina BRUNO talk about paid parental leave and gender equality

The GDP contribution of housewives

In the modern western parlance, it is no longer socially acceptable to be a housewife.

Women who stay at home are seen as outmoded and a financial burden on society throughout the developed world. If their husbands are wealthy, they are frequently criticised for being sluggish or lacking in education. Some are even accused of being ‘gold diggers’ or not possessing an impressive skills set.

National accounts have never taken into consideration the daily tasks that housewives perform, such as cleaning, cooking, or raising their children. For instance, the GDP of a country decreases if a man weds his housekeeper and stops paying her for her labour. On the other hand, the GDP increases if a mother stops breastfeeding and buys formula milk for her child and pays for child care. This demonstrates the reasons why Governments would prefer for women be at work as opposed to say-at-home mums.

Celebrities who believe a work-life balance doesn’t exist for women

Many women speak of a healthy work-life balance but does such a concept truly exist?

Hollywood actress Mila Kunis Doesn’t Believe Work-Life Balance Exists | Time. She told ‘The Cut’ magazine, ‘Simply put, the idea of balance doesn’t exist, it is you work or your kid, but you can’t balance it. There is really, in my opinion, no such thing. One will take a weight.”

Actress Scarlett Johansson had her take on the matter Scarlett Johansson Wants to ‘Have It All’ When Baby Comes – ABC News (go.com) she said whilst being pregnant in 2014. She said, “it seems so stressful to not be able to spend time with your family because you’re constantly chasing the tail of your own success.”

Superstar Tennis player Serena Williams Opened Up About Parenting: ‘Mom Guilt Is Real’ | SELF, in her interview, she said “We have all been there, I work a lot, I train, and I am trying to be the best athlete. However, that means I’m not around as much as I would like to be.”

Women being intrinsically more maternal is witnessed as research proves how an An unforeseen story of alpha-woman: breadwinner women are more likely to quit the job in work-family conflicts: Applied Economics: Vol 52, No 55 (tandfonline.com)

Even Feminists changed their mind

The second wave mother of Feminism Germaine Greer, in her earlier works postulated that “childbearing was constricting, suffocating, an enemy of a liberated woman’s larger hopes.” However, years later, Greer said how she mourns a Motherhood Missed – The Washington Post.. “Getting pregnant meant the end of all good times . . . the mother-generation warned us darkly not to rush into childbearing, to have a ‘good time’ while we could.” And now, like Hannah, she weeps.

Echoing the statements of the aforementioned celebrities, she says “I am absolutely convinced I would not be the metro editor of the Times if I had had a family.”

Online Muslim conversations lack nuance

Despite the exponential plague of Feminism in our ummah, the online conversations in Muslim spheres pertaining to Muslim women, their family life and careers, lack any sincere nuance.

For instance, older single Muslim sisters are often portrayed and presumed to have pursued glittering careers or have spent their younger years engaged in zina/pre-marital relationships, leading to their current situation. However, there are many pious and righteous sisters in their late 20’s to even early 40’s, who had no interest in climbing the career ladder or even being in pre-relationships for that matter. Instead, some spent their younger years battling sickness; some watched too much ‘Twilight’- read far too many romance novels and became picky, rejecting all proposals in the hope for their ideal suitor to walk through the door, (as the hadith mentions there will be chaos in the land when a woman rejects the proposal of a righteous man); some widowed or divorced in their younger years and struggled to get back on the “marriage market”; some well-intentioned about marriage and searching for it but it simply did not transpire for one reason or the other. The point being, that not all older single Muslim sisters are either one monolith of career-hungry women or are tarnished and impure.

Although not the measuring yardstick for the success of our ummah, Muslim women giving precedent to their careers over embarking in marriage, is still not tantamount to the phenomena seen in non-Muslim societies. On the whole, Muslim women still understand the importance of getting married. However, the sanctity of marriage has been undeniably lost, what with divorce being so rife and most divorces of British Muslim couples being instigated in UK shariah councils by women.

Being cognisant of the findings above, if a housewife is significantly happier than a career woman, when a married woman chooses to heavily focus on her career, her marital home’s healthy environment will inevitably be hindered and the tarbiyya (nurturing) of children will inevitably be impeded. 

The role of women being convoluted

Islam does not prohibit a woman from joining the work force, particularly if there is a necessity for it regarding her individual circumstances. Furthermore, women are required in certain professions, such as the medical field, to ensure mutual protection.

However, the shunning of the full time housewife has sadly made its way to the Muslim community. The metrics of a Muslim woman’s worth in certain households is now contingent upon her economic contribution.

A homemaker is a role which is highly regarded in Islam. A woman who chooses to be a stay-at-home mum is truly impactful, as she is placing her family first and foremost. This should be admired in today’s day and age and not dismissed, given the fact that we are surrounded by Narcissism, Materialism, Feminism and Individualism. Moreover, a traditional housewife embodies her feminine traits that the world is desperately attempting to erase.  

A strong relationship with Allah Azzawajal and the Qur’an, exercise, mental stimulation, companionship and pursuing hobbies and interests, are all vital components to the well-being of a woman. Following the lockdown, there are many creative ways that women can work from home, give dawah and partake in serving the Muslim community. Any opportunities that do not hinder a woman’s family life will not prove to be problematic. It is however, imperative that Muslim men take their role of being a provider seriously, particularly when living in cities such as London where the cost of living is not cheap. This will in turn, facilitate sisters in focusing more on their role as a homemaker.