- Ali Dawah’s promotion of polygyny certainly triggers many reactions.
- It is however, important to refer to pertinent studies regarding its historical prevalence, societal criticisms, and modern day implications.
Ali Dawah has an agenda to make more Muslim men turn to polygamy and is trying to ruin things for us,” a sister said in a deafening roar during one of the weekly halaqa’s I attend. This statement was proceeded by a talk lead by our dear Ustadah concerning the institute of marriage in Islam.
I don’t claim to know about the agenda of Ali Dawah, perhaps it’s world domination? Who knows? I’m not Ali Dawah after all. Although he seems like a sincere brother who is trying to spread the kalam of Allah.
I wasn’t particularly concerned about the sister’s emphasis on our brother Ali Dawah. What troubled me the most about her statement was the latter part of it, as I had never before come across such a deeply emotional and subjective response to the topic of polygyny. How did we get here? Our own thoughts, feelings and opinions being paramount over the rulings of Allah? Moreover, Muslim women and men thinking we are at war with one another…..Individualism, professionally pugilistic feminists, Disney Princesses being pursued by pathetic simps and living ‘happily ever afters’, colonialisation of the mind, and the very recent Red Pill movement, that’s how.
Polygyny is evidently a soul stretching practice for women, as exemplified in the hadith, where even our esteemed mother, Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), who was married to the best of creation Prophet Mohammed (saw), found it to be a great test:
It was narrated from Umm Salamah that she brought some food in a dish of hers to the Messenger of Allah and his Companions, then 'Aishah came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: "Eat; your mother got jealous," twice. Then the Messenger of Allah took the dish of 'Aishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah to 'Aishah. (Sunan an-Nasa'i 3956)
Nevertheless, regardless of whether an individual chooses to engage in the practice of polygyny, it remains imperative as Muslims, to acknowledge that each decree ordained by Allah swt al Hakim, bears inherent wisdom and utility, intended to uphold and elevate societal well-being, the sanctity of marriage, individuals and family bonds. In addition, they serve the purpose of safeguarding and perpetuating the lineage and heritage entrusted to us.
This article seeks to explore the effects of polygyny on society. It delves into the imperative for Muslims to earnestly accept and believe in the entirety of the laws stipulated by Allah. Additionally, it endeavours to address some of the potential consequences of Brother Ali Dawah’s rhetoric regarding polygyny.
Allah says in Surah Al-Baqarah (Chapter 2), verse 85 of the Quran:
"Do you believe in part of the Scripture and disbelieve in part? So what is the recompense for those who do that among you except disgrace in worldly life; and on the Day of Resurrection they will be sent back to the severest of punishment. And Allah is not unaware of what you do."
“We need to start behaving like we believe. It only takes a small army”
What does this have to do with polygamy I hear you say, bear with me; I’ll get to it.
True transformation within the ummah will only occur when individuals stop attempting to silence Islamic laws, as alluded to by the sister in my halaqa. It is essential to note that this selective approach of acceptance, mirrors a strategy employed by certain feminists. For instance, consider the recent ban on the abaya in France, where there has been a conspicuous absence of vocal support of the freedom of young Muslim girls to dress as they please from feminists. Speaking out against such an injustice surely falls within the paradigm of Feminism. However, evidently we see how women’s rights advocates only amplify their voices when it suits their own agenda.
Some Muslims choose the path of silence, avoiding discussions about rulings they find uncomfortable. Another approach is one of apologetics, especially regarding certain aspects of our faith i.e. polygamy and ‘the age of Aisha’. Many Muslims adopting this stance might assert, for example, that “Polygyny is only applicable for men engaged in warfare,” or even “Aisha was 19 at the time” or “We don’t really know her true age.”
These emotionally charged, subjective responses can ultimately prove detrimental to those who utter them. Moreover, such actions may have consequences that will come back and haunt us like Marley’s ghost in A Christmas Carol. These distortions should not be dismissed casually, merely because they diverge from personal inclinations.
Rather, in order to be a part of ‘the small army’ we must be unapologetic about everything in our deen. This comes with knowledge, applied wisdom but more importantly, a profound immersion of our souls loving Allah and accepting that all of His laws are superior in benefitting society, irrespective of our own personal preferences.
Apologies for the digression. Back to the discussion at hand.
As the future rushes towards us, the sanctity of marriage is being lost, divorce is rife, single mothers are suffering, as are children from fatherless homes, adultery is normalised and so perhaps it’s necessary for some to hear polygyny as a presented option. Interestingly, history indicates that polygyny was a prevailing practice across diverse societies, transcending cultural, religious, and social boundaries, dating back to prophets of all Abrahamic faiths. Nevertheless, a discernible transformation in marital expectations, largely influenced by changes in church doctrines, the increasing presence of women in the workforce, and evolving socialisation, has significantly altered this historical landscape.
Polygyny has transformed into a Western critique of Islam, vehemently condemning what it interprets as misogyny and the purported oppression of women. Therefore, let’s explore the benefits:
Healthier and better educated children are found in polygynous households
In 2015, a study conducted by Anthropologist ‘Monique Borgerhoff Mulder’, drew comparisons between households practicing polygyny and those adhering to monogamy across 56 villages in northern Tanzania. It asserted that polygynous households had healthier children and that prohibiting polygyny could be disadvantageous to women by restricting their marriage options.
In a case study of the Arsi Oromo of Ethiopia, sons in polygamous families were likely to stay in school for longer.
Polygyny: A Deterrent to Extramarital Affairs
One might postulate that the resurgence of polygyny would act as a safeguard against extramarital affairs, which has been normalised in popular culture, a concern notably pronounced in certain affluent Muslim societies, where the acceptance of adultery seems to have grown.
A survey conducted by the LA Intelligence Detective Agency presented some profoundly disquieting and exceptionally troubling statistics. It is essential, nonetheless, to interject a caveat that this specific survey is seemingly devoid of inclusion of a primary Muslim majority focus: 30-60% of married couples will cheat at least once in their marriage, 74% of men and 68% women admit they’d cheat if it was guaranteed they’d never get caught and 69% of marriages break up as a result of an affair being discovered.
Polygyny eradicates poverty
Data amassed between 2010 and 2013, involving a cohort of 106 Himba women residing in northwestern Namibia, illuminates the tangible advantages accruing to women within polygamous unions. Specifically, it highlights their propensity to unite with affluent or influential men. Within this tribal community, a striking 79% consensus emerges among both the presently married cowives and former co-wives, who are now widowed women, affirming the merits of polygyny.
In a similar vein, physician, A.S. Amin, who has carried out extensive research on the topic, expounds upon this notion in his work ‘Conflicts of Interest,’ stating: ‘Polygyny enables a society to utilise a man’s desire to maximize his reproductive fitness to achieve a more balanced distribution of wealth. For example, a man who makes $500,000 a year can provide financially for ten women twice as well as a man making $25,000 can for just one woman.’
“Every man is polygamous by nature”
Brother Ali Dawah, prominent YouTuber and da’ee does indeed repeat the statement “Every man is polygamous by nature” through different spheres of his work. This statement is almost synonymous with his identity now. Perhaps the quote ought to be placed in brackets next to his name every time he’s mentioned: Ali dawah YouTuber, Da’ee, (everyman is polygamous by nature.) I feel like brother Ali will be saying this statement to his grave.
However, the epistemological exploration of whether it is indeed in the fitra (innate disposition of every man) is not a discussion we will be delving in today. What remains incontrovertibly clear within the context of Islam is that men within our ummah possess the prerogative to choose and enter into marriage with one to four women of their preference, whether they be of youth or maturity, singularity, divorced or widowed, affluence or modest means, differing cultural backgrounds or ‘people of the book’— this privilege, a divine endowment from Allah is contingent upon the equitable treatment of each spouse.
Polygyny in the bible
It is somewhat intriguing when Christian apologists criticise Muslims for practicing polygamy. When confronted with instances of polygamy in the Bible, their response often revolves around the assertion that “prophets were not perfect; they were human and thus prone to making mistakes.” This becomes particularly thought-provoking when we consider that there are numerous prophets in the Bible such as David and Solomon who have, in fact, made the very same “mistake.”
